No, instead, Tesla (TSLA)
is selling on its internet site a branded pair of red, satin short shorts
— a jab at investors who “shorted” the business, essentially betting on its stock falling.
Unfortunately for any readers who would have now been willing to fork out $69.420 (yes, really) for a set of tiny Tesla gym shorts, they’re already sold out. Apparently they went fast: Soon after announcing the shorts were available for sale, Musk tweeted
, “Dang, we broke the website.”
“Tesla will make fabulous short shorts in radiant red satin with gold trim,” Musk tweeted
the other day, hinting at the new merch. “Will send some to the Shortseller Enrichment Commission to comfort them through these difficult times.”
In typical Musk fashion, that tweet came briefly before another off-color quip
apparently also aimed at his doubters and the Securities and Exchange Commission: “SEC, three letter acronym, middle word is Elon’s.”
Just last year, Tesla was strapped for cash
. In May 2019, the electric carmaker was selling debt and additional shares
of stock to boost $2.7 billion to replenish its coffers. A depressed share price forced the company to repay a $920 million bond in cash rather than stock. In its ten-year history, the business had only posted a handful of quarterly profits.
But in January, the company posted
its first-ever annual profit — and the business’s positive momentum has continued from there.
Despite interruptions from the coronavirus pandemic — including stay-at-home orders which Musk referred to
as “fascist” — Tesla the other day posted relatively strong car delivery numbers
for the next quarter of the year.
The company delivered 90,650 cars to clients during the quarter, down 5% from a year ago, but far less compared to drops of 30% or maybe more reported by other automakers. Tesla’s second-quarter sales were also up a bit from the 88,400 cars it delivered in the initial quarter.
The cars are celebrated on the brand new Tesla shorts. The rear of the shorts features each of the Tesla model numbers, “S3XY,” emblazoned in gold lettering.
According to Tesla, the shorts provides “exceptional comfort from the closing bell.”