“Personally, there are a couple of things I would probably want to fix about myself,” she admitted. “I’m not even close to loving myself.”
PARIS JACKSON TATTOOS HERSELF IN THE HOME DURING QUARANTINE
Jackson explained that she “fell into self-harm” after her father, Michael Jackson, died in 2009, sparking depression in the young star.
She revealed that she used to “cut and burn” herself, but never thought she’d die from her actions because she “was the one that was in control of the razor.”
Jackson also referred to as her self-harm “a distraction from emotional pain and transferring it to physical pain,” and later admitting, “I tried to kill myself many times.”
PETITION TO BLOCK ‘HABIT’ FILM WHERE PARIS JACKSON PLAYS JESUS GARNERS THOUSANDS OF SIGNATURES
Since then, the “Gringo” actress has stopped taking her anti-depressants because while they numbed her lows, they also numbed her positive emotions.
“Even although the lows are unbearably low, I would still rather [feel] that than nothing,” she explained. “Pain is way better than numb because at least you’re feeling something.”
Her depression “comes in waves” now, but it isn’t the only problem she faces, as body image problems now plague her.
“It’s frustrating for me personally because I wish to be part of the movement to broaden the wonder template, and I want to ensure it is more inclusive and it doesn’t matter what size you might be, what color you are, what background you have, what culture you’re a part of,” Jackson said. “I want to be the main movement that broadens that, but it’s difficult when I squeeze into the stereotypical original standard template of it.”
Luckily, she’s got her music to lean into.
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“Music is simply real and honest in my experience, and I get to be myself. I don’t need to worry about what I’m wearing or how I look because it’s just raw,” the “Geronimo” singer said.
If you or someone you realize is having thoughts of suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).