In Memoriam: Alicia Barberian, 42, quintessential Armenian mom

by Tom Vartabedian

Published: Friday August 12, 2011

Alicia Barberian.

Salem, N.H. - Alicia Barberian was the type of mom any proud Armenian child would have loved to own.

She was there every step of the way for her two daughters, Olivia and Lucille, whether it was the church, Armenian school or the AYF, and always brought her husband Arthur into the mix. One never worked without the other.

She transported, baked, encouraged, inspired and lent a hand wherever possible.

Then one day life dealt Andrea a bad hand. She was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, that same disease that befell Red Sox pitching ace Jon Lester.

Being a baseball fan, she had often reminded herself that "if he could beat the odds, so could she." And thus, the road was littered with a detour or two the next year but the destination never wavered.

She resumed her role as dutiful mom and encouraged her girls to stay involved with Armenian life and not sympathize with her illness. Olivia came home one night with the news that she had been elected chapter president.

It was a big deal for a 16-year-old and an even bigger deal for Alicia --- the type of boost she needed on a bad day. Mom was there with unflagging support every step of the way, despite some tumultuous moments with her cancer.

We live for our kids. And so it was with Alicia Barberian. The disease ravaged her body but it would never deplete her happiness. Through the church and organizations, her girls were growing into productive Armenians. No Armenian parent could have asked for greater indulgence.

One day she received a call from a total stranger in Detroit. The voice belonged to Alec Sarafian, a community activist, coach and member of the AYF Olympic Governing Body. He, too, was struck by non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma and was now in remission.

"Keep your courage up," he told the woman. And Alicia did.

Last summer, she showed up in Philadelphia to cheer for her daughter at the AYF Olympics. The smile on her face when the youngster was awarded her first tennis medal stretched from ear to ear.

The two were standing side-by-side as total strangers, Alec cheering for a Detroit player and Alicia for her daughter, unaware they had hooked up on a telephone conversation some months back.

Two strangers, both with the same disease, gave each other a hug that day which had more relevance than a cache of gold medals.

This past April became the ultimate crown of glory for Olivia and her mom. The Armenian National Committee of Merrimack Valley was preparing for its annual genocide observance at Lowell City Hall.

As was the case, there would be a lineup of speakers from different facets of the Armenian community, including the youth. When word reached the North Andover AYF, Olivia volunteered to represent her chapter --- as a tribute to her ailing mom.

It would be the first speech this child would ever make in public and probably the most memorable. There was only one drawback. Alicia Barberian was too sick to attend the commemoration and wouldn't be there to share her daughter's spotlight.

With 100 people looking on, including the city's political elite, Olivia removed some papers from her folder and laid them on the rostrum. With a voice of assurance and complete control, she delivered a talk that was worthy of plaudit, glancing only occasionally at her notes while making eye contact.

"This one's for you, mom," she silently told herself.

Several remarks had to do with her family's history and the role her parents had played in maintaining a strong Armenian identity.

"Why do bad things happen to good people?" she brought out. "We all share a common burden. The past may be gone but until it is settled, we won't stop fighting toward a brighter future."

Olivia's dad was off to one side, soaking in a tear. He knew how difficult this might have been for his daughter and how she managed to pull it off.

In the weeks that followed, so did Olivia's words on that April 24 and the vision of her mom listening from her bed. Of greater consequence was how a young girl from the community had nailed her first speech.

Alicia Barberian passed away June 27 at the tender age of 42. She fought her illness with vigilance.

Few, if any, reflect upon the sad times. More are apt to recall the happy days of being an extreme Armenian mom --- the woman with an infectious laugh and a passion for helping abused animals.