In search of paradise

Published: Tuesday August 24, 2010

Apo Sahagian in Lchap.

A walk through old town Gyumri .

Jerusalem - It's that time of year again; the first few days after returning from Armenia to our respective adopted homes.

Upon their return, some swim in relief, some drown in sadness, while others wave aside their trip as insignificant. But then there are those who reflect and contemplate; those like me.

Armenia offers many issues to observe and think about, and this time around, I got a gist of it. A gist was enough to make me appreciate the diverse perspectives in Armenia, from the buzzing city of Yerevan to the quiet green mountain village of Lchap.

The discovery of Armenia might partially be found in tourist sightseeing, but the discovery of the Armenian is exclusively held in conversations and dialogues with the faces that pass you by in the city, or the warm smiles that greet you in the village.

Hence, this year's journey was not venturing into the soul of Armenia, but stepping into the core of the Armenian mind, heart, and soul.

Connecting to Armenia

Ever since my first visit to Armenia in 2006, I connected with the land. It gave me my identity, my heritage, and someplace to call my own; home. Considering that I come from Jerusalem, a city in a tug of war between Israel and Palestine, it is quite understandable why I jumped so fast to grab onto Armenia; it gave me the serenity that I longed for.

Back then, Armenia was new to my juvenile eyes, but with all its advantages and disadvantages, I embraced it. Many of the Diasporans that were with me did not follow suit; they stuck to their criticism of the homeland and the locals.

To them, Armenia was a long shot from the luxury and elegance of the West, which they preferred over the homeland. To me, Armenia, whether good or bad, became my intended final destination.

July 2010 marked my fourth trip (or ‘frral' as I call it [in Yerevan slang]) to Armenia. Before setting off, I cleared my mind of any expectations or wishes for a great time during my stay. Have no expectations, have no disappointments.

So I went back to the mountains, indifferent and lazily. If an opportune moment presented itself, I would embrace it. If the moment never came, well then, it wouldn't make a difference. Right now, it seems like that was (and is) the best approach when traveling to Armenia or anywhere else, because little did I know, many moments were hurrying my way.

Can I live here?

The plane landed at 5 am, I was home at 6 am, and was out and about at 1 pm. From the first sun ray that covered my eyes, my thoughts went ecstatic. Can I live here? Will I live here? Do I want to live here?

Ever since 2006, this specific topic had tormented my mind, but it reached the climax at this trip. One important issue was comprehending the locals, because if I ever reached my final destination, I would have to live side by side with the people already there.

Some, or actually many, Diasporans complain about the mentality of the Hayastantsis. I tend to complain about the mentality of both.

Yes, there is quite a difference between my mindset and the locals'; but that doesn't quite mean that there is no difference between mine and an Armenian from the West. No mentality is wrong, and the distinction should not be misunderstood as that.

During a pasta breakfast at 5:30 am at a flat of French Armenians, I had a long argument with an Armenian born in Yerevan, but has lived in England most of her life. She grumbled loudly about how the locals were ‘un-zarkatsadz' [roughly translated as "underdeveloped"].

All I said in return was "What is zarkatsoum [development] to you? And who are you to say who's zarkatsadz or who isn't?'' I didn't openly and directly disagree with her; all I wanted was to fully grasp her perspective. I objectively countered most of the examples of ‘un-zarkatsadz martig' that she gave. Maybe to her, the day Armenia scores the European status; maybe then the locals will fall in the ‘zarkatsadz' category.

At the end of the debate it became clear that just because we both were Diasporans, it did not immediately mean that we would agree on matters about Armenia and the local Armenians. Before we're Armenian, we're people, we're individuals. Individuals differ from each other. Each holds a different view. To me, ‘zarkatsoum' had a different meaning. To her, I was as ‘un-zarkatsadz' as the locals. I humbly accepted the category.

Meeting the locals

So my journey continued, and led me to a hot spot club bar named That Place, but I chose to call it [in Armenian] ‘Ayt Deghe'. Not being a fan of club music and sweaty crowds, I would usually sit outside and observe and converse with the people going in and out.

One person that was a regular passerby is a kid named Garen, who tries to sell his very amateur paintings to the clubbers. I befriended him last year, when he ripped me off, taking advantage of my kindness; later on, it became clear that he had a better iPod than mine and lived on the Cascade, a rich area in Yerevan.

But, I'll admit, he was far better company than the clubbers. When not playing the role of a cunning salesman, he would either talk ill of the Persian tourists, or degrade the Turkish nation by not even mentioning them as humans. During one of his rip-off sessions, I explained to the potential victim that "when dealing with Garen here, you should think like a local.''

‘'Now why do you say that?'' A man asked loudly, overhearing what he assumed to be a harsh critique about the locals. By studying him for two seconds, I concluded, rightly so, that he himself was a local, hurt by my misunderstood statement. I greeted him with a grin to compensate and begin the healing process.

I explained to him what I meant to say: that the locals were smart in trade and business. But of course, in a typical Armenian conversation, tongues cannot maintain on just one topic. My conversation might have started about the local's aptitude in financial dealings, but soon we strolled into the matters of the Diaspora, dentist work (which he was and offered me free service), and ultimately came to the issue of human nature and principles.